Episode 28: Thoughts That Make Us Feel Terrible [COACHING INSIGHTS #4]

I had to laugh when I was being coached recently. Two coaches told me that I depreciated the success I had this year in expanding my coaching business. From two or three clients and one coaching group, and irregular income, back in January, I hit my money goal in August and have been hitting it ever since having around twenty 1:1 coaching clients. Yet, I felt it was not a real success, so I decided to discuss this with my coach, especially after two other coaches called me out on this.

One of my beliefs was exposed during the session: “Successful business owners are excellent in marketing and they do the marketing by themselves.”

Going by that definition, I would not be a successful business owner. That is why I did not really celebrate my success this year, I felt I am not there yet. I constantly told myself, that this success does not count. It did not feel like a real success, it felt like some kind of fake success.

So why did I laugh after exposing this belief I had? I laughed simply because our work on these beliefs, that limit our progress and wellbeing, is never-ending. I started discovering limiting beliefs as soon as I started my own business journey and it is one of the coaching areas I go through with so many of my clients. I believe it is one of the most important things we can do when we are working on ourselves and our goals. I laughed because I coach my clients on this, and it felt so good to do the same with my coach, feeling the relief once my belief about what does it mean to be a successful business owner was on the paper. Exposing a belief as a lie can be so LIBERATING!

These limiting beliefs do two things, that do not serve us. The first one is that they make us feel bad: we feel we are not competent, worthy, deserving or not good enough. The second negative consequence of having these beliefs is that they stop us from pursuing our dreams or taking the necessary steps we need to take to pursue our goals.

Try this. Think of the one situation that is making you uncomfortable, you are not happy about or is creating some other negative emotions in you. Write all your beliefs about yourself, other people or the situation on the piece of paper.

Men don’t think I’m interesting enough.

I don’t look like a competent lawyer.

Successful business owners are excellent in marketing and they do the marketing by themselves.

I feel I don’t have enough experience.

I feel invisible when I’m outside.

Often, just seeing these beliefs written on paper makes you realize how untrue or even absurd they are. Yet, we believe in them.

That is another reason why I laughed at myself during my coaching session. Yes, marketing is an important part of running a business, but I saw the gaps in my limiting belief reasoning. It no longer made sense to believe it. Yes, marketing is one of the skills I have been working on since I started my business and it is still a long way to go, but that should not diminish my success. One of my action points from the coaching sessions was to celebrate my amazing success. Right now, custom-made muffins are ordered for our family celebration this Friday.

I bet you have your own set of beliefs, that don’t serve you. We all do. If you want to feel better, more confident and happier, while working towards your goals, this is the inner work you don’t want to avoid.

And let me tell you this, as a coach and a coachee, the limiting beliefs work is never ending. You nail one, a new one pops up. But it feels so good to deal with them, one by one. So let’s go and let’s say good bye to our limiting beliefs.

If you want me to guide you on this amazing and exciting journey, send me a message and let’s talk about the challenges you are facing.

If it sounds too overwhelming or if you need the external accountability to stick with your new habits, I can support you. Message me and let’s have a conversation about this!

Remember, I’m here for you. If you are ready to work on this, book an initial chat here so we have an honest conversation and see if we are a great fit to work together!

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