Episode 30: When the Uncertainty Holds You Back [COACHING INSIGHTS #5]

My client wanted more clarity on whether she should go ahead with the project she always wanted to do. She has already started, but had doubts if it is the right thing to do and if she should continue, as in a couple of months, she will be going back to work and will not have as much time as now. She wanted to have certainty, that this was the right thing to do. She didn’t want to invest all the time and energy in something that might not be successful.

Today, I’d like to chat about what to do if you’re not sure if you should pursue the project, business or dream you had for a while now and how to deal with the fear of uncertainty.

All of us probably asked ourselves this question at some point in our lives:

“Should I really try to do this? What if I don’t succeed? What if it will be just a waste of time? What if I just make a fool of myself?”

I certainly did, many times. I still do. You may relate to some of these real-life examples:

“Should I become a coach and start a coaching business, instead of having the security of full-time job?”

“Should I finally create that lifestyle account on Instagram and try to build some following?”

“Should I create my product, get it manufactured and sell it on Amazon?”

“Should I keep my blog (which I absolutely love!) alive, even if it doesn’t bring me any money?”

When my clients bring up this topic of uncertainty, we usually do a couple of things, each time a bit different depending on the unique situation of my clients. Today I’d like to talk about uncertainty.

We, humans love certainty, even if it doesn’t serve us

This is how we are as humans. We just love certainty. That’s how our brains are designed.

Can you think of a friend or acquittance who keeps staying in a relationship that is not really working? Yet she/he prefers to stay in this dysfunctional relationship because of the certainty it provides.

How many people stay in their jobs that are not making them happy, because of fear of not finding a better job or having an income gap for a couple of months?

How many people keep taking courses and learning, instead of jumping into action and actually executing what they have been learning for months or years?

Yes, I can’t give you the certainty that you’ll achieve your dreams (and if somebody does that, than I would say: red flag here!) I said this in my TedX talk, but I am going to say this again. I can’t give you the certainty that your project will be successful or that your business will start generating money within a year. But what I do know is that if you don’t try, you are deleting the possible successful future from the menu of your life’s future options.

Is that what you want to do? Do you want to have the certainty of NOT having that success?

If your answer is No, here is a wonderful exercise I use for myself and my clients, who usually love it. This comes from the Positive Intelligence, the coaching framework I often use and have certification in, you can do it in the form of visualization or – and I found this to be effective as well – just asking yourself this question:

In 40 or 50 years, what would I think about this dilemma I am facing now? Should I have done it?

The answer can be an instant light bulb moment that gives you an answer and more clarity you are seeking.

Another helpful rule of thumb is that if this “dream” or “idea” is coming to you repeatedly and even if you brush it off, it eventually comes back. In this case, you might want to explore what is stopping you from pursuing it in REAL LIFE.

Of course, this is just one piece of the puzzle and we often explore this topic with my clients more in depth. We delve deeper into the fears that stop them, we dive into how comparisons to other people who might be on completely different life journeys are not exactly helpful and we bring up the success stories from their own lives that show them they can do hard, uncomfortable things with uncertain results.

All this put together then creates your jumping point to go into action. This doesn’t mean that suddenly you are certain of your success or your fears are miraculously gone. No, you will still have the fears and no assurance of success, but you will also know that this is something you want to pursue and you will have the power to start doing it.

I hope this was helpful and you got motivated to either jump into action or start exploring what is holding you back in pursuing that nagging, yet exciting dream you have been having for a while.

If you’re a bit stuck doing this alone, I’d love to support you in this and have a conversation with you during a free initial consultation. Click here, pick a date and let’s chat and make this happen for you.

Remember, I’m here for you. If you are ready to work on this and make your dreams happen, click here to see how I can help you get there.

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