Is your business exciting and you can’t wait to get it out there?
Are you all fired up to deliver the amazing services or goods you believe in?
But is showing up online and marketing yourself your biggest hold-up right now?
If you said yes, read on.
In a recent coaching conversation I recorded for the podcast (listen to the full coaching session here), my client explored exactly this — her fear of showing up online with confidence, as her authentic self.
What You Believe Shapes How You Show Up We all carry pre-set messages about almost everything — running a business, money, who we are, what we should do, success, and roles. Our confidence is shaped by these beliefs — in helpful or unhelpful ways. If you’re feeling stuck right now and your confidence is dwindling, take a moment to explore the beliefs that may be causing that.
My client, in this coaching conversation, had a set of limiting beliefs about what it means to be a life coach. She was struggling in her transition from being a therapist to becoming a life coach:
Life coaches have it all figured out.
Life coaches just tell people what to do.
Life coaches take the easy route.
Life coaches are pompous.
Life coaches are kind of scam.
Why would she want to become a life coach if this is what she believed about coaches? No wonder she was stuck when it came to showing up online and doing what she was so passionate and excited about.
I’m here to help, book a free consultation Whatever you’re trying to do, if you have negative beliefs about it, it’ll feel off. This inner inconsistency will show up as fear, procrastination, or feeling stuck. The incongruence between what you want to do and what you believe holds you back from doing what you love, what excites you, and what you believe in.
Catch the beliefs that hold you back and rewrite them If a belief is holding you back, it’s not helpful — and needless to say, the majority of these beliefs are not even true. Of course, there are shady coaches out there, but there are professional life coaches too. The beauty of this world is that you’ll always find examples — both good and bad. Which one do you want to focus on?
The first step to overcoming your hold-up is exposing the beliefs that keep you stuck.
Take a pen and paper — or book a session with a coach — and dig deeper into what’s holding you back. Write down all the beliefs you have about your current challenge or situation.
Then, go through each belief with these steps:
Is this belief true?Explore various cases and examples — of yourself, people you know, people in general. If it seems true:What can I do about it? What skills or resources am I missing? What should I learn? How can I rephrase this belief in a more empowering way? If it’s not true:What’s the new belief I want to adopt? Does this belief serve me?If not: What’s the new belief I want to adopt instead? Every time the old belief pops up, remind yourself that you no longer believe it and consciously repeat your new belief. If there’s room for learning, what are the things you can improve or learn? (Do this without judging yourself — see it as skill-building.) What’s the truth? I use this powerful exercise with myself and my clients whenever limiting beliefs show up. Our brain will find examples of whatever we focus on. If we believe only bad people are rich, we’ll find plenty of examples of people misusing money. But if we change the belief to “good people can be rich,” suddenly we see so many generous, kind people supporting causes, charities, and doing great things with their money.
Related episode: 33. Losing Focus in Marketing? Be Intentional in Your Marketing (Listen here )
So what’s true here? Your old belief or the new one?
You’re right — the one you choose to believe in. So why not choose the one that serves you better?
For my client, a more helpful belief might be: life coaches are professionals who experience the same challenges as their clients, instead of life coaches have it all figured ou t or life coaches are scammers .
What would a white man in his 50s do? Feeling stuck because of your beliefs and imposter syndrome can feel painful and lonely. I’ve been there many times. Nobody — unless you’re a white man in his 50s? (joke!) — is immune to this. Even Michelle Obama talks about her fears and doubts in her second book The Light We Carry — and it’s freaking Michelle Obama!
If you’ve never experienced fear or felt not good enough for what you do, I’d almost ask: are you challenging yourself enough? Here’s a perspective shift: fear, blocks, or imposter syndrome are signs that you’re doing something big. You’re growing into the person you want to become.
Back to the white men in their 50s! A client of mine once shared this hack. When she feels stuck, scared, or not confident, she asks:
“What would a white man in his 50s do here?”
Yep, you guessed it. He’d just do it. With confidence. Without overthinking. Or as my client said during this coaching (listen here) — he wouldn’t give a sh*t.
I’m here to help, book a free consultation Do it scared – and don’t do it alone You don’t need to eliminate every limiting belief before you begin.
You just need to start and keep going.
Work with the beliefs that pop up. Challenge them. Reframe them. Then take the next step — even if you’re scared, even if imposter syndrome tags along.
My client did exactly that in our podcast coaching session — she discovered multiple beliefs, doors that needed to be opened and explored so she can move forward.
She mentions people she know who underwent similar transition as she was going through discovering a powerful resource for herself: talking to other people who are experiencing what you experience. Share what you’re experiencing. I promise, you’re not the only one who’s felt this way.
Related episode: 29. How To Toss the Disempowering Stories You Tell Yourself and Live with Confidence (Listen here )
Honestly? I go through it too. The question “Am I really a good coach?” still shows up uninvited. Just a few weeks ago, I coached someone with over 10,000 coaching hours — and guess what? They were wondering if they were good enough.
It’s not about never doubting yourself.
It’s about having the courage to move forward anyway — and letting your dream be louder than your fear.
My client will make an incredible coach. Not because she has it all figured out — but because she’s willing to show up, ask the hard questions, and keep going. That’s courage.
And you? You can absolutely do this too.
Will it be easy? No.
Will it be scary? Probably.
Will it be worth it? 100%.
Don’t let old beliefs keep you stuck.
Go after what you want — in business, in health, in life.
Even if you have to do it scared.
