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SEASON 2: EPISODE 3

Happiness Isn’t Enough: 4 Science-Backed Lessons to Improve Your Well-Being

  • June 10, 2025
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Have you ever felt like chasing happiness isn’t working? We’re often told to strive to feel great all the time, but what if there’s more to a fulfilling life than happiness?

In this post and podcast episode, I’m sharing key insights from the book Flourish: A New Understanding of Happiness and Wellbeing: The Practical Guide to using Positive Psychology to Make You Happier and Healthier by Martin Seligman. Seligman revolutionized psychology by expanding its focus to well-being and emphasizing the application of scientific research to real life.

Flourish: A New Understanding of Happiness and Wellbeing: The Practical Guide to using Positive Psychology to Make You Happier and Healthier by Martin Seligman
Flourish: A New Understanding of Happiness and Wellbeing: The practical guide to using positive psychology to make you happier and healthier, image from amazon.com

1. Well-being is more than just happiness

We often think happiness is the ultimate goal, but according to Seligman, well-being is a combination of multiple factors:

  • Positive emotion
  • Engagement (flow)
  • Meaning
  • Positive relationships
  • Accomplishment

Focusing solely on happiness can be misleading. A fun and interesting insight from the book is that research shows couples with children report lower happiness and life satisfaction than childless couples. Seligman uses this scientifically proven example to point out, that happiness only is not the best moral guide – most of us will agree that parenting can bring deep meaning and fulfilment.

The key takeaway? Well-being is about more than just feeling good—it’s about creating a life that includes meaning, flow, relationships, and accomplishments. If you feel like happiness is hard to achieve, try focusing on one of these other areas.

I tested this idea on a bad day: I wrote down one small action for each of the five components and did them all. The result? I felt better. This exercise wasn’t in the book, but it’s now part of my personal toolkit.

Ask yourself: Which of these five areas could use a boost in your life? Do you need more flow? Creating more wins? Working on something deeply meaningful or figuring out how to be in a flow more often?

Zuzana Mukumayi: Positive Intelligence, Productivity and Habit Coaching
Zuzana Mukumayi: Productivity and Habit Coaching

2. Gratitude, resilience, and optimism actually work (and science proves it!)

There’s significant research showing that practices like gratitude, resilience, and using our strengths improve well-being. These aren’t just feel-good concepts—they’re backed by science.

One simple yet powerful exercise is the “three blessings” exercise—writing down three things you’re grateful for each day. Even if it feels forced at first, it works. Another small action? Doing something unexpectedly nice for someone, like letting a person with just one item go ahead of you in a checkout line.

I avoided gratitude journaling for years, but now it’s part of my nightly routine. I also do it with my son, asking him about his favorite parts of the day before bed. It hasn’t caused a “positivity earthquake,” but I can feel the positive shift.

Are you willing to try this? Pick one small practice—three blessings or an unexpected act of kindness—and see what happens.

3. Learn to deal with negativity rather than trying to erase it

Seligman shares a fascinating example from the U.S. Army: Snipers aren’t trained to avoid fatigue—they’re trained to perform under it. They stay awake for three days and practice shooting while exhausted. The lesson? We can’t avoid negative experiences, but we can train ourselves to handle them better.

As entrepreneurs and professionals, we often waste mental energy wishing things were different. But instead of getting stuck, we can shift our focus to what we can control:

  • Find meaning in challenges.
  • Seek flow by engaging deeply in work.
  • Lean on relationships for support.
  • Create small wins to regain momentum.

Next time you’re feeling stuck, ask yourself: How can I use the five components of well-being to move forward?

4. “Good enough” is often better than “perfect”

One of the simplest yet most powerful insights in the book is that “satisficers” (those who settle for ‘good enough’) tend to have higher well-being than “maximizers” (those who always seek perfection).

Perfectionism can drain your energy, slow you down, and leave you constantly dissatisfied.

Action step: Where in your life are you aiming for perfection? What would happen if you aimed for ‘good enough’ instead? If science says “good enough” leads to better well-being, why not give it a try?

Take small action now – and keep accountable by letting me know!

Well-being isn’t just about feeling good—it’s about building a life that includes meaning, engagement, relationships, and accomplishment. Small actions, backed by science, can make a big difference.

Which of these insights will you apply in your life? Connect with me on LinkedIn or e-mail me at zuzana@zuzanamukumayi.com — I’d love to hear your thoughts!

And if you’re a fellow book lover, have you read Flourish or any of Seligman’s other books? I always love hearing book recommendations!

Disclaimer: In this blog post and podcast episode, I’m sharing key insights from the book Flourish by Martin Seligman, but keep in mind that this is my interpretation. While I do my best to stay true to the author’s ideas, there might be some inaccuracies or my own thoughts mixed in. If something interests you, I always recommend checking out the book yourself!

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For more guidance and tips, listen to the full episode. Or simply reach out to me here or at zuzana@zuzanamukumayi.com, I’m always ready to talk!

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